How I deal with Unresolved Trauma

By Eleanor Sogialofa,
I am a childhood trauma survivor.  Even though I am a survivor, I still deal with unresolved trauma.  It is something that I will carry with me forever, and it can be frustrating as I wonder why me.  I have hated feeling that I was a damaged person who carries a lot of baggage, feeling “messed up”.  In the Pacific Island Samoan community, we are taught to suppress our feelings, because showing feelings is a sign of weakness.  I am taught to be fearless, intimidating, tough and stern.  What I have found through my work, and the people who I have connected with—I can cope with trauma. 
Everyone has experienced trauma at some early point their life.  Victims who have experienced domestic violence, and/or sexual violence have had traumatic experiences.  The National Institute of Mental Health (USA) defines childhood trauma as: “The experience of an event by a child that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects.” A well-known Centers of Disease Control (CDC) study explores link between childhood trauma and adult health called “ACE” or Adverse Childhood Experiences.  Results report about 65% of children experience at least 1 adverse event, and 40% of children at least 2 or more ACEs.  The higher the number of experiences the developmental trauma or complex trauma a victim faces.  Examples of ACE are: (1) Physical Abuse, (2) Sexual Abuse, (3) Emotional Abuse (4) Physical Neglect (5) Emotional Neglect (6) Mother treated violently (7) Household substance abuse (8) Household mental illness (9) Parental separation or divorce (10) Physical abused, there are 9 other items not listed here, but I think you get the picture.
As a community we need to understand when children have higher ACE scores, children will have rougher childhood, and have higher risk of health problems as adults.  ACE experiences can lead to increase of illness such as obesity, stroke, heart disease and can impact future adult relationships.  Childhood trauma survivors may experience behavioral changes. This report shows us that children cannot deal with trauma.  If you are a young adult and carry trauma, I encourage you to get moving.  Do not isolate, make sure that you have a safe space.  Listen to your body, if you feel you cannot control your emotions, your anger ask or seek help from either a friend, a safe person, or an advocate. 
In my current position I read and research about ways we can cope with trauma.  It has taught me that I am a survivor.  I am strong, resilient, and capable.  
Source:  Cdc.gov Npr.gov