Intersections of Sexual Assault and Suicide

Written by: Jennifer Tofaeono, Executive Director
Over the last two weeks there were four(4) reported suicides.  I am not privy as to why, but I believe for an island our size, our nuclear family, as well as extended family, it raises questions.  How could this happen? Why did it happen? Could I have done something differently?  We mourn loved ones lost to suicide as well as friends who have lost someone to suicide. They are our siblings, our children, our grandchildren, our neighbors, someone important.
 “How do we fix this?”  I would like immediate action  yet sometimes the best reaction is to take a few steps back, and identify the issues.  As the Executive Director for the American Samoa Alliance, one of our strategic objective is to increase awareness about violence.  Our purpose is to help our community build an intolerance to violence, to change mindsets to  solve some of these issues that heavily impact our island.  I feel that our mission to empower individuals in community aligns with the fight against suicide.  The approach to building intolerance against violence should be the same for suicide within our community.  
 Research regarding sexual assault is associated with increased risk for suicidal ideation, attempts and death by suicide.  Sexual assault has been found to increase the risk for death by suicide by as much as 14 times for female victims compared to women who have never been assaulted (Gradus et al, 2012).  Victims with a history of childhood sexual assault/abuse are identified as significant risk factor for suicidal behavior. 2014 Pacific Islands Report identified suicide rates in Pacific Islands as some of the highest in the world, and Samoa was identified as one of the Islands.
  A popular Pacific Island Maori movie “Once were Warriors” the daughter Grace Heke commits suicide because of sexual assault.  The impacts of sexual assault on a victim even years after the assault will continue to play havoc on victim’s wellness.  A Netflix 2016 documentary Audrie & Daisy followed two young girls sexually abused.  Audrie committed suicide before filming at the age of 15.  Daisy committed suicide, August 5, 2020 at the age of 23, nine years after her assault.  As I sit here, I  wonder what do can we do with all this?  Through our work at the Alliance we focus on awareness, and I believe that is the first step to addressing suicide. 
The common misconceptions about suicide, is a person who attempts to harm themselves must be crazy.  When in fact suicidal people are not insane, or crazy.  Being upset, depressed, carrying grief—and being distressed is not a sign of a mental illness, but a cry for help or support.  Another misconception is if we talk about suicide, it gives someone the idea.  Studies show when you talk openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings you may help to save a life. Some people may believe that if someone talks about suicide, they are not going to really do it.  Wherein fact suicidal people provide a warning or clue, and its important the we listen to them.  They may jokingly say, “You’ll be sorry when I’m gone,” or “I’m anxious, and I cannot find a way out” this could be a sign of having suicidal feelings.  It is important we recognize how suicide happens, and use it as a vehicle to end suffering that has become extremely horrendous.
If there is someone you know  that you feel has suicidal tendencies it can be difficult to approach them, but the best thing to do is have a conversation.  Giving a suicidal person the chance to share their feelings can help them break from negative feelings, loneliness or pain. You can begin a conversation by saying, “I wanted to check in with you, because it seems like something is bothering you.” As you continue the conversation you can ask them, “How long have you felt this way?”, or “When did this start?” Providing support statements such as, “You are not alone. I’m here for you,” or “It may seem like your feelings won’t change, but they will,” or “It may be hard for me to understand how you feel, but know that I’m here to help, and that I care for you.”  These crucial conversations are the start to providing help to our loved ones. 

​​Important numbers:   Emergency call 911.  For Suicide Prevention call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 for free confidential, 24/7 help.  You can also connect with various Suicide Helpline Chats online chat groups at:https://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_prevention_chat_usa.html   
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