How to Help Victims of Violence Who are Seeking Assistance

Written by:  PROVISION  Image Courtesy of American Samoa Alliance against Domestic & Sexual Violence
Our community continues to see an increase in violence and abuse. There is a myriad of reasons for abuse, but some factors are intergenerational abuse, community, system-induced, historical, political, and immigration-related trauma.  Although alcohol and drugs are not the reason for abuse, they can increase the trauma to victims of abuse.  In our small community we have come across victims of violence, who share their stories as they seek assistance or asylum from their abusers.  Here are some tips on how you can help victims of violence who are seeking assistance.
#1 Listen to what they are saying.  Victims have shared when they are supported and validated, they are more likely to engage in discussions.  They will discuss they abuse they received from their partners, or loved ones, while seeking help and support.
#2 Victim blaming can create extremely painful experiences, for victims.  They will feel misunderstood and judged by others, which can be lonely.
#3 Victim’s lives are extremely intricate, and solutions are not easily found.  One Samoan lady visiting the Alliance said, “I don’t want to leave my husband, but I want him to stop abusing me.”  Another woman complained, “I want to leave my husband, but if I do, he will get my children because he has a good job and comes from a good family.  He told me this himself.” Remember working with victims will be challenging.
#4 Perpetrators of violence believe victims will resist.  I have heard family members say, “She will only listen to her husband, and will never leave.”  We know perpetrators understand and accept their victims will leave them—that’s why men will try to stop resistance by taking money, bankcards, and car keys.  Some men will take the victims cell phone and try other methods to keep their victims from calling for help.
#5 Perpetrators cover up their abusive behavior.  They will accuse the victim and change the way the outside world looks at them.  Offenders may blame the victim, and become charming to others, to ensure they do not face the outcomes of their actions.
When working with victims, it is important that advocates accept the violence in the victims’ lives. Pay close consideration the stories she/he share about the violence and abuse they have suffered. Always remember the perpetrator is always responsible.  Victims are not responsible for the reaction of their abusers.  Abusers can make the decision to leave a difficult situation—but the anger they feel against the victim, or the shame they feel the victim has created makes them respond in violence.  Lastly, recognize when the victim shares their story of resistance.  It can be something as simple as walking away or creating a safety plan. It may be subtle, but they must be rewarded for acts of bravery.  When we ask our victims for their story it is important, we hear their response to violence—and recognize the steps to healing. 

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