Building Safe Spaces for a Healthier Community

Written by:  Jennifer Tofaeono, Executive Director Alliance   
​  I love concepts that help remind us of how to create healthier communities.  We are the collective, and we need to create these spaces. The Alliance holds space, which at a minimum means we take the initiative to be empathic to someone else’s situation and circumstances.  Our focus this month is Mental Health and Suicide Awareness Month.  Everyone can get overwhelmed from time to time, and sometimes we are not effective with our words. We express our selves in ways that are not healthy, or we feel unsafe to be seen and heard.  We become more exposed which increases our vulnerable position to the people who surround you.  As a community, the Fa’aSamoa thrives by being collectivists.  But what happens when the space we hold does not have the ability to create supportive, and non-judgmental space, where we can be fully emotional, physically, and mentally vulnerable?
When I say the Alliance holds space, we have created a safety net that allows us to be vulnerable, imperfect, and express ourselves.  Every morning we practice wellness, which allows us to describe our focus for the day or  share something that impacts our being.  It has provided us a space where we feel safe and find a pathway to wellness.  We can express ourselves openly and authentically, and we help one another process our emotions.  We have held Wellness Space for the last three years, and the shift in our workspace has been positive.  We have been able to unpack complex emotions, like anxiety, anger, sadness, and fear.  It has allowed us to be open to explore and share liked experiences.  
Building a safe space has not been easy, but here are some tips if you would like to hold this space for your staff, family, friends, or loved ones.  You can practice compassion and love in the present moment.  As you hold space, make sure that everyone can feel loving kindness, and authenticity.  Practice deep listening.  This means to do more than hear to understand, it means listen without judgement, without telling them how they should have handled the situation.  It means just listening.  Ensure the listener knows you hold them in deep respect, and compassion.  Simply sitting, meaning you’re creating the safe space, do not feel you have to get up and clean the room, or make changes to the chairs.  It means sitting as someone has shared with you—so they know you’re focused on them, making them feel safe.  Sit through the hard stuff. You must be present—  Try to focus on anyone who has entered your space.  That doesn’t mean responding to email, as they’ve shared their story, or answering phone calls.  Let them know you are focused on them.  Practice non-judgement, build your safe space.   When someone expresses pain, or hurt, my first reaction has always been, “How can I help fix it.” Please remember we are not here to “fix” them or the way they feel.  Allow them to go through the pain.
Always make sure the person is safe.   If you find that you are not able to support or provide space, work with the person to find a therapist, a pastor, and/or matai—but ask the person first.  When you begin to develop and practice creating “safe” spaces, you will begin to see the healing in your community.