Ask the Expert Response: Best Way to Help Victims of Sexual Assault in American Samoa

Written by:  Jennifer Tofaeono, Executive Director, Alliance
When I was 23 years old, I began working for a rape crisis unit.  It was solely volunteer based. The organization provide training before you worked with victims.  You were asked to carry a pager (that’s how long ago) and expected to stay connected with victims who called the hotline.  Sometimes you would receive a call from a police officer who would ask your presence at the Emergency Room to ensure the victim received support.  I once I took an Enneagram 2 personality, and I was defined “The Helper”.  Based on their definition I am generous and sympathetic, already ready to step in when needed to help those around as needed.  As a Helper, I am compelled to aid lend a hand, empathize, and aid others to live their best lives.  I believe many advocates are “Helpers”.
 After some time, I find myself back in a field that relies heavily on support systems, and effective community advocacy.  For the person who posed this question I would ask, “At the core of your being have you identified your strengths and ability to provide assistance?”.  Many times, as “Advocates” we overextend ourselves.  We seek ways to make a difference and touch the hearts of others.  We want to see them heal, and live good lives.  Advocates strive to use genuine affection and connection to leave the world a better place, ensuring resilience.  We push ourselves to be of assistance that we deny our own needs.  Make sure that you are well as an advocate.  Victims can provide stories that can be triggering, identify your triggers, and ensure you have coping mechanisms to remain well.  
I would remind advocates your role is to provide "Help".  Make sure that you are feeling healthy to help sexual assault survivors understand the options that are available to them. As an advocate you should be a source of information to help them make reliable decisions. If you are feeling triggered and unsafe it is important to refer the victim to another advocate. Another way to stay healthy is to learn coping mechanisms, and remember to provide support, not judgment, not pushing your ideas of "What is best".  Remember the "Victim knows what's Best".  Once the victim has made that decision, as an advocate you support the survivor on the best way to reach their goals.